The Danger of Expectations
One of the most common requests I get when people inquire about a puppy is that they want a calm, mellow puppy that is like their last Bergamasco. Maybe they have another Bergamasco at home that is super chill or they lost a beloved dog who was perfect in all ways. The desire to have that dog again is understandable. This dog was a perfect fit for your lifestyle, your day to day. The relationship was comfortable and likely did not involve a lot of effort or work on your part. Sometimes we forget that there was a lot of work involved in the beginning, but as the years go by, those puppy days are forgotten and all we remember is the final product, a calm and well behaved dog that in our own mind has no vices. It is also possible that your dog was always that way from day one. Some puppies are easier than others. Temperament and personality are a result of many different factors. The end result is usually a combination of pedigree, early socialization, life experiences and training. Depending on where you are in your own life, these factors will vary. If you took the same puppy and raised it at the age of 30 and the age of 70, there will be differences in the outcome of that same puppy. Maybe your puppy was exposed to more children or different places when you were 30 than when you were 70. Maybe you had more or less time to train. You get the idea.
Aside from those factors, your puppy’s pedigree plays a huge role in temperament. Although each puppy receives half their genes from each their sire and dam, every puppy in each litter receives different combinations of different genes. Thus, you will have a variety of temperaments and personalities among littermates just from the pedigree standpoint.
Each of these puppies will spend their first 8-12 weeks with their breeder. This time is critical and every breeder does things differently. Foundations are built here. From here, the shaping becomes the responsibility of the new family. Knowing how to socialize your puppy and how to teach resilience and confidence through training is critical and will determine much of your puppy’s future personality and how they deal with situations. COVID 19 has been a clear example of what happens to puppies when they don’t have this window of opportunity. I am sure all of us know a Covid puppy and know what that term means! I know I do and have been there myself!
It is important not to have expectations when getting a puppy. Having an open mind and learning your puppy’s unique personality is an opportunity to get the most beneficial relationship out of your puppy. While knowing pedigrees and knowing your breed’s overall function and temperament will lay the base for developmental and experiential nuances, each puppy is unique.
When considering a new puppy for your family, it is helpful to establish a mindset of “ I am open to this new puppy and it’s temperament and unique personality, and will rise to the challenge of enriching it’s talents, interests and abilities”
Wishing to get a puppy that is just like your past dog or other dog is setting yourself up for potential failure. This goal may be unattainable, leaving both you and your dog frustrated and unfulfilled. Consider all the years of bonding and getting to know each other that led up to the relationship that you had with your past dog or other current dog. Like all relationships, they take time and patience. Sometimes the lessons they are meant to teach us are all in hindsight.
So when you ask for the calm, large merle male or the outgoing black female who loves to hike, please understand that while that outcome is possible, it’s also unpredictable, much like the teenager or adult your human child will become due to life’s unforeseen experiences and events.
If you do have a particular preference of the kind of dog you want, it is a great idea to consider an older dog that you can trial in your home before making a commitment. Breeders will sometimes retire older show dogs who are already trained and at least in this breed, rescues and rehomes come up from time to time. It is important to express your expectations to your breeder before getting your puppy so that you can both decide on the best path for your success and satisfaction with your new addition. It is also another reason why it’s important to get your puppy from a reputable breeder who is familiar with pedigrees and lines of your chosen breed, and can make some educated guesses on the overall temperament of a particular litter.
